Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times November 19, 2009)

Every kid knows how horrible cleaning your room is. You just find how messy your room is, and you say to yourself, “now what are you going to do?” Usually, I just sit there for a while and think about what I’m going to clean first. Most of the times it looks like a Laundromat puked all over my whole room. Then I start thinking, “how could I be so lazy? If I had just picked up the clothes I’d worn I wouldn’t have to be cleaning my room in the first place.” The next step is to mope around and say, “oh, I don’t want to clean my room” just loud enough for my mom or dad to hear it.” My mom or my dad usually just say, “you can do it.” Then, I start to pick up some things and I feel like I’m getting somewhere. Next, I get distracted and start to play with items I’ve re-discovered from cleaning my room. That’s about the time that my mom comes in and says, “keep on cleaning!” I say, “I am cleaning,” even though she can clearly see there’s a toy in my hand. Eventually I think to myself about how having a clean room is a thing I really mostly love. So, I clean my room. Finally, when I finish my whole room I do a little decorating. Today, I put colored pencils, crayons, and regular pencils in Mason jars and set them on my desk. I loved when all the pencils were in the jars they made a swirly around the rim. This made it definitely worth cleaning my room.

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times November 5, 2009)

In my class we learned today about Fair Trade. This is when farmers get paid a fair wage, enough money to maybe get a safe factory, and not force children to work, and pay all their workers what they deserve so they don’t have to live in poverty. Think about a Kit Kat bar. It tastes so good, except you don’t know how it’s been handled. It could have been made by children my age (and younger) who were forced to do the jobs of adults! Maybe that Kit Kat bar wasn’t the best idea after all. Maybe next time you should try a different chocolate. My teacher’s friend gave her some information about Reverse Trick Or Treating to give to our class. The idea is: I say, “trick or treat” and someone hands me a Hershey Bar and I say, “no thank you.” Then, I hand them a piece of Fair Trade chocolate. I’m going to try to do this every Halloween until all chocolate is Fair Trade.
I guess for some kids, it’s not a problem eating chocolate that’s not Fair Trade because they don’t see children being forced to work. What if your friend and you had to get up at 5:00 every morning, and work, work, work, and get no school? Before you say, “wow, those kids are lucky that they don’t have to go to school” think about this: education is like stilts that keep you above and able to see where you’re going. Without these stilts, you would be like these kids—flat on the ground where you can’t see your future.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times October 22, 2009)

I’m going to state that lying is a foolish thing that men and women do. Sometimes children lie too. BUT, you can, sort of, get famous for lying. Like, Nixon lied. I think his lying made him more famous than he would have been as just a president. Clinton also lied, but it didn’t make him more famous because he was already going to be famous for having Hilary for a wife. Famous women liars are Anne Bonney and Mary Read, who pretended they were men and became pirates. They had better careers because they lied. As we all know, Pinocchio is the best known liar. He lied about little things, but it didn’t get him anywhere. All it got him was in a Disney movie. From personal experience, I haven’t gotten anywhere from lying either—but in my room for punishment. I ask myself when I lie, “what have I done?” and “why would I do that?” I have no answer for these questions. I was singing this song that goes, “tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…” and asked my mom "what is a 'sweet little lie'?" She said, it’s when the person asking you the question doesn’t really want to know the truth. Like when my mom says, “do you know what time it is?” and I know she means it’s time to clean my room, but I say, “no, what time is it?” because I don’t really want to know the answer to her question. Even though I don’t want to know the truth, I still have to clean my room and I still don’t like it. Just like a birthday card always gets opened, the truth always reveals itself. Except the times when the truth is junk mail and it just gets thrown away.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times October 8, 2009)

The Dahlia is a beautiful, common flower that goes nicely in an arrangement with carrot top greens. They grew from August, all the way through September on our porch. They were my brother’s favorite flower. The first thing that comes up in my mind with Nasturtium is “edible arrangement.” These flowers taste like pepper conjoined with sweetness. My dad just said (when he heard me read this aloud), “the last time I heard a description like this, it was about me!” I guess I can believe my dad is a nasturtium. Like him, they don’t smell that good. We didn’t grow babies’ breath in our garden, and I sort of wish we had. They are not about size. They are about beauty. I think mice are like this, although my mother strongly disagrees with me. My family grew pink roses, with a light, lovely scent. Evi, who rides my bus, gave me a rose mint and it was really good. Of all the flowers we grew, flox had the best smell. It was overly floral if you brought it inside. Outside, it smelled just perfect. I give these flowers a Fall farewell. Soon they will freeze and wither. BUT…they will come again next spring! I will welcome them back with a warm “hello.” This means I will also have to say “hello” to the pollen, which is definitely not my best friend. Right around that time school will also be a drag for me. Hmmmm, come to think of it, pumpkins are beautiful. They are bright orange lumps of sweetness that bring me pie. Happy Fall everybody!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times September 24, 2009)

I want a cell phone. My mom won’t let me have one. I told her there are a million reasons I should have one. Reason one: what if I was stuck in a mud pit and needed to phone someone to get out? I would need a cell a phone. Reason two: what if somebody was robbing my purse and I needed to call 911? I would have to have a cell phone. Reason three (and perhaps the most important reason): what if I witnessed a murder scene and needed to take a picture to bring that murder to justice? I would need a cell phone with a camera. Reason four: what if I found buried treasure and I didn’t have a cell phone to call my mom and tell her about the moola I found? If I had a cell phone, I would call and tell mom to come to the direct spot where the moola is because it would be too heavy to carry and I would need her help with the treasure. Not only would I would need a cell phone for all this, but also if I had a cell phone for this situation, I would be able to buy cell phones for all the homeless people in New York because we’d have the treasure. Why do I think my mom won’t buy me a cell phone? There are stalkers out there, and they could track down my cell number through radio waves and keep me hostage or take my cell phone or they could call Peru and drive my cell phone bill way up. They could also track me through a deadly thing called Facebook. Do I agree with mom? No. Because I’ll be extra safe with my cell phone, just like I’ll be extra safe on Facebook. Plus, I definitely won’t call Peru.

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times September 10, 2009)

One day I went to school with a shirt with spaghetti straps. Someone in my class told me that I had to keep my coat on because shirt straps had to be “two fingers wide.” I don’t like this rule. There are so many cute shirts with straps that aren’t two fingers wide. I also don’t know why they have this rule. I have heard some schools have really strict dress codes, like you have to wear uniforms. I would hate that. It’s like the school is trying to make kids their minions, making them all the same. I just got new school clothes. They’re not even close to uniform (except one skirt I have is plaid). When I put on clothes, it’s a way to express feelings. When I’m sad I can wear blue, when I’m tense I can wear black, and if I’m excited or confident I wear things that make me look sharp, like fun and funky patterns and colors. One time I wore a tie to school and two boys said to me, “why are you wearing a tie? Ties are for boys.” I told them, “clothes have no gender,” because that’s how I feel about it. What I really wanted to make my wardrobe pop this year was a sailor shirt. Unfortunately, sailor shirts aren’t in the stores right now so I’m still looking. My teacher from last year, Ms. Warren, has very organized fashion—she always looks clean and put together, like she knows what she is doing even if it’s not what I would wear. I don’t feel comfortable in shrugs, but I saw Danielle wearing one last year and she set a trend because she looked so cool. I can appreciate the way other people express themselves through fashion. I heard someone say, “fashion is pain.” I think this means HIGH HEEL SHOES. I do not like these kinds of shoes, but what’s funny is I don’t think there’s any dress code about them. How about telling me what your fashion sense is.

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times August 27, 2009)

Are you a dog person or a cat person? There are lots of different opinions about animals. The most popular animals for pets are cats and dogs. I like both. I have had good experiences with cats. They make me sneeze, but I like to cuddle with them. I love dogs too because they help blind people, they work for people and they protect people. What I love most about my dog Moses is that he cheers me up when I’m down. I look into his pleading brown eyes and I just feel loved. I know this woman named Dominica who says she’s insecure and needs to be needed, and that dogs make her feel loved and needed. Also, she likes the way dogs smell (which I think is interesting because Moses always smells like Fritos and dish water). My brother Killian is a cat person. He says dogs are too needy, and that “cats don’t bark at everything and roll in poop. Cats are beautiful too, much more elegant than dogs.” My friend Bailey Kretchmer is a total cat person. She thinks they are cuter than dogs. She has five cats! Her favorite is Bandito because he’s a kitten and looks like he’s wearing a mask. Bailey never cleans cat litter, but I think she will still like cats even when she has to. Some people don’t have a taste for cats or dogs. They either like some other kind of animals (like fish or birds) or they don’t like animals for pets at all. I think these kinds of people are probably worried people. Maybe they are afraid that they will get a rash from fur, or that dirt will trail in and penetrate their rugs. I wish I could put the thought in their heads that they need a dog or a cat. They wouldn’t fret so much because they’d have a friend.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times July 30, 2009)

I started reading these books called the Adventures of Stink (you may know these—he’s the brother of Judy Moody). The boy in these books writes these comics called “Idiom Comics,”except he has no idea what idioms are (he probably called the comics this because the word “idiom” sounds like “idiot.”) They are funny anyway because he takes idioms and uses them very literally. That’s the very last thing you want to do with idioms.

I have a friend who wanted to know what an idiom is. My computer dictionary says,
id·i·om n - a fixed, distinctive, and often colorful expression whose meaning cannot be understood from the combined meanings of its individual words, for example, “to have somebody in stitches”
The world of idioms is crazy. Everybody knows “nod your head” means you’re saying “yes.” Nod means to sleep though. Don’t people wonder, “why do I have to sleep!?” Why not just say “look at the sky, look at the chest, look at the sky?” At least then you would understand what you’re supposed to do with your head. Another one is “shake your hand.” Foreign people, who don’t understand our idioms might think “shake your hand” would mean put your hand into a convulsion. They wouldn’t even know that I just wanted to agree with them or meet them if I said this.

I’m not sure what idioms are good for. I guess they make some things shorter to say. Like, take the phrase “a bit much.” When you say this you mean that someone shouldn’t make a big deal out of a little thing. If you were to say, “you were way, way over the top” you might hurt someone’s feelings. But a “bit much” tells the person in a gentler way to stop being so dramatic. For some reason, I hear this phrase a lot :) Like last week, when I wrote about how disappointed I was in the money I got from the Tooth Fairy. Turns out I was being a “bit much” (wink, wink, nudge) because the tooth fairy did give me to half a dollars!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

This is the link to Amazon, where can purchase Killian's album. His album is great. It's so great, I don't know what to say. So BUY NOW!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times July 16, 2009)

I lost my tooth yesterday. It’s been a year since I lost a tooth. I tried to brush my tooth (stupidly) so the tooth fairy would think it shined more and then it fell down the drain. I started to cry because a year without losing a tooth and then nothing? My dad rescued the tooth from the drain. He took the drain off and I found out that the drain was quite disgusting with gunk. My mom and dad washed the tooth off and put it safely on a shelf. Later, they took it and put it under my pillow when I was asleep.

I had dreams about jawbreakers with gummies on the inside. I did think, “why would the tooth fairy bring me candy?” But, still I kept getting up in the night to look through my bed for candy. I was also hoping to get half dollars. In the past, the tooth fairy gave me Sacagawea coins (worth a dollar a piece). Then, I got terribly sad and felt like crying because I found what the tooth fairy brought me. She brought a mango and a dollar bill. The mango smelled like compost. I was expecting more money (I don’t mean to be greedy). She also brought me a beautiful fish (my mom says it’s cloisonn├ęt), which I love. I still feel disappointed because it wasn’t what I was thinking. I think the tooth fairy brought me more exciting stuff when I was younger. But, I’m not sure. I think maybe all kids have a little time of sadness and disappointment about what they got from the tooth fairy. The grass is greener on the other side. One year my brother got a peach and a sock. He fired the tooth fairy after that and the tooth fairy never came again. I am never going to fire the tooth fairy.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times July 2, 2009)

I saw a TV show where a guy bought a Shamwow and loved it. I got kind of curious about Shamwow and I looked at a commercial for it on YouTube. It was really dorky (no offense to the commercial people). This guy named Vince was overly dramatic and had a nerdy head microphone, but I still wanted to buy the product. I fantasized about spilling grape juice on our carpet and picking it up with the Shamwow. I decided not to do this because it would break home law and I would get in trouble and it probably wouldn’t pick up the grape juice anyway. I have also seen commercials with Billy Mays. He’s very loud, but looks pretty kind. My mom and dad told me that everything used to be “Ronco, Ronco, and Ronco.” I went to YouTube and saw Ron Popeil (the Ronco guy) sell Hair in a Can. He sprayed people’s heads with “natural looking” color. Ron was very honest about the Hair in a Can, saying that it was a non-toxic powder that will make your hair “look” fuller. Actually, I thought the people he sprayed did look better (except they were wearing ‘70s clothes). I also found on YouTube an old commercial for Mr. Microphone, which wasn’t the smartest invention. If you used it near a radio, it sounded like you were on the radio, sort of. It made voices sound odd and scratchy. I liked these old commercials over Vince and Billy Mays. They weren’t so high-tech and Ron didn’t yell as much as Vince or Billy. If Ron tried to sell me a Shamwow, I’d definitely get it and I would probably try the grape juice experiment. Just maybe not on my carpet.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

SNL lawrence welk show parody

http://www.hulu.com/watch/37752/saturday-night-live-the-lawrence-welk-show. This is so funny. I've never watched the real Lawrence Welk show. Was it really like being in a freak show with random ladies and one lady with doll hands?

Sorry about the commercials people. But it does look better on Hulu than on YouTube.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Gassie the Tootin' Pooch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBeafSHUqdQ
This is a hilarious YouTube video from Sonny with a Chance. This was the opening sketch. It was so funny! I loved it so much. Hope you do too!

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times June 18 issue)

I was impressed this spring by Kylie Kline in my class when she finished this book called Dragon Rider because it was two inches thick! Summer is a great time to kick back and relax with a book. Last summer I wrote about a book challenge Rosie at the Olive Library made to kids. I was going to read 24 books, but I failed. I got distracted by summer games and camps. This summer, the same thing will probably happen, but right now I’m really into reading. I started getting historical adventures from our next-door teacher, Mrs. Mayone. These books are a blast from the past coated in excitement. They boggle and interest my mind, and it’s like someone is talking to me while I’m reading. Words are like waves in my mind that satisfy me because they fill up my thoughts. I am interested in what other adults liked to read when they were my age. I asked Markus Heidelberg of Krumville and he said, “I liked little newspaper stories, short, odd stories like ‘Man Bites Dog,’ which really happened in Japan.” I know Markus, and he probably liked those stories because he’s a strange person himself (but in a good way). Margaret Cogswell of West Shokan said, “I liked reading biographies on people like Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale.” I asked her why she liked stories about nurses and she told me, “ It might have had something to do with my sister having polio when she was two. She was sick a lot and in and out of a lot of hospitals. I really admire people who help other people, and who risk there lives for and inspire people.” Readers: don’t feel discouraged about getting distracted from reading this summer: just remind yourself of why you read.