Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times December 17, 2009)

Lady Gaga has potential, except I don’t think she’s expressing it through her songs. I think she’s a half rose that hasn’t bloomed. I think to become a full flower she needs to fix her lyrics. For instance, in the song “Paparazzi” she’s saying, “I’m going to chase you down until you’re famous.” This is pretty psycho! The song is about following people with cameras and that someone is basically awesome because they’re being stalked. The song is very popular. However, the message of the song says she gets crippled because some guy throws her over a balcony because he thinks it’ll make a good photo shot. This is crazy, but kids just like Lady Gaga! Even I get caught up in the melody, and the way Lady Gaga dresses (even though she’s a total freak with her costumes: science fiction, dorky and bare). I think I’m into her music because of the rhythm too. I still think she could do her thing, but in a different, less sexual man-talk and plum inappropriate way. Maybe her lyrics can be about something other than men. For no particular reason, just a break from men, I would like to hear her write a song about kittens. It could go like, “Kittens are awesome, and I shall not throw them off the balcony. Kittens can dance with rainbows, YEAH!” Here’s a letter to her:
Dear Lady GooGa, sorry Gaga,
I’m always available as a lyricist, in case you just want to write about kittens dancing with rainbows and not so much about men dancing with women. You have great melodies and rhythms—keep it up. Just remember I want to help you with your lyrics.
Sincerely,
Cally Mansfield (a.k.a. Llamas in Scarves)
P.S. I’ll give you the kitten idea for free—seriously, use it.