Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times July 16, 2009)

I lost my tooth yesterday. It’s been a year since I lost a tooth. I tried to brush my tooth (stupidly) so the tooth fairy would think it shined more and then it fell down the drain. I started to cry because a year without losing a tooth and then nothing? My dad rescued the tooth from the drain. He took the drain off and I found out that the drain was quite disgusting with gunk. My mom and dad washed the tooth off and put it safely on a shelf. Later, they took it and put it under my pillow when I was asleep.

I had dreams about jawbreakers with gummies on the inside. I did think, “why would the tooth fairy bring me candy?” But, still I kept getting up in the night to look through my bed for candy. I was also hoping to get half dollars. In the past, the tooth fairy gave me Sacagawea coins (worth a dollar a piece). Then, I got terribly sad and felt like crying because I found what the tooth fairy brought me. She brought a mango and a dollar bill. The mango smelled like compost. I was expecting more money (I don’t mean to be greedy). She also brought me a beautiful fish (my mom says it’s cloisonnét), which I love. I still feel disappointed because it wasn’t what I was thinking. I think the tooth fairy brought me more exciting stuff when I was younger. But, I’m not sure. I think maybe all kids have a little time of sadness and disappointment about what they got from the tooth fairy. The grass is greener on the other side. One year my brother got a peach and a sock. He fired the tooth fairy after that and the tooth fairy never came again. I am never going to fire the tooth fairy.

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times July 2, 2009)

I saw a TV show where a guy bought a Shamwow and loved it. I got kind of curious about Shamwow and I looked at a commercial for it on YouTube. It was really dorky (no offense to the commercial people). This guy named Vince was overly dramatic and had a nerdy head microphone, but I still wanted to buy the product. I fantasized about spilling grape juice on our carpet and picking it up with the Shamwow. I decided not to do this because it would break home law and I would get in trouble and it probably wouldn’t pick up the grape juice anyway. I have also seen commercials with Billy Mays. He’s very loud, but looks pretty kind. My mom and dad told me that everything used to be “Ronco, Ronco, and Ronco.” I went to YouTube and saw Ron Popeil (the Ronco guy) sell Hair in a Can. He sprayed people’s heads with “natural looking” color. Ron was very honest about the Hair in a Can, saying that it was a non-toxic powder that will make your hair “look” fuller. Actually, I thought the people he sprayed did look better (except they were wearing ‘70s clothes). I also found on YouTube an old commercial for Mr. Microphone, which wasn’t the smartest invention. If you used it near a radio, it sounded like you were on the radio, sort of. It made voices sound odd and scratchy. I liked these old commercials over Vince and Billy Mays. They weren’t so high-tech and Ron didn’t yell as much as Vince or Billy. If Ron tried to sell me a Shamwow, I’d definitely get it and I would probably try the grape juice experiment. Just maybe not on my carpet.

SNL lawrence welk show parody

http://www.hulu.com/watch/37752/saturday-night-live-the-lawrence-welk-show. This is so funny. I've never watched the real Lawrence Welk show. Was it really like being in a freak show with random ladies and one lady with doll hands?

Sorry about the commercials people. But it does look better on Hulu than on YouTube.

Gassie the Tootin' Pooch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBeafSHUqdQ
This is a hilarious YouTube video from Sonny with a Chance. This was the opening sketch. It was so funny! I loved it so much. Hope you do too!

Kids Corner

(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times June 18 issue)

I was impressed this spring by Kylie Kline in my class when she finished this book called Dragon Rider because it was two inches thick! Summer is a great time to kick back and relax with a book. Last summer I wrote about a book challenge Rosie at the Olive Library made to kids. I was going to read 24 books, but I failed. I got distracted by summer games and camps. This summer, the same thing will probably happen, but right now I’m really into reading. I started getting historical adventures from our next-door teacher, Mrs. Mayone. These books are a blast from the past coated in excitement. They boggle and interest my mind, and it’s like someone is talking to me while I’m reading. Words are like waves in my mind that satisfy me because they fill up my thoughts. I am interested in what other adults liked to read when they were my age. I asked Markus Heidelberg of Krumville and he said, “I liked little newspaper stories, short, odd stories like ‘Man Bites Dog,’ which really happened in Japan.” I know Markus, and he probably liked those stories because he’s a strange person himself (but in a good way). Margaret Cogswell of West Shokan said, “I liked reading biographies on people like Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale.” I asked her why she liked stories about nurses and she told me, “ It might have had something to do with my sister having polio when she was two. She was sick a lot and in and out of a lot of hospitals. I really admire people who help other people, and who risk there lives for and inspire people.” Readers: don’t feel discouraged about getting distracted from reading this summer: just remind yourself of why you read.