(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times July 2, 2009)
I saw a TV show where a guy bought a Shamwow and loved it. I got kind of curious about Shamwow and I looked at a commercial for it on YouTube. It was really dorky (no offense to the commercial people). This guy named Vince was overly dramatic and had a nerdy head microphone, but I still wanted to buy the product. I fantasized about spilling grape juice on our carpet and picking it up with the Shamwow. I decided not to do this because it would break home law and I would get in trouble and it probably wouldn’t pick up the grape juice anyway. I have also seen commercials with Billy Mays. He’s very loud, but looks pretty kind. My mom and dad told me that everything used to be “Ronco, Ronco, and Ronco.” I went to YouTube and saw Ron Popeil (the Ronco guy) sell Hair in a Can. He sprayed people’s heads with “natural looking” color. Ron was very honest about the Hair in a Can, saying that it was a non-toxic powder that will make your hair “look” fuller. Actually, I thought the people he sprayed did look better (except they were wearing ‘70s clothes). I also found on YouTube an old commercial for Mr. Microphone, which wasn’t the smartest invention. If you used it near a radio, it sounded like you were on the radio, sort of. It made voices sound odd and scratchy. I liked these old commercials over Vince and Billy Mays. They weren’t so high-tech and Ron didn’t yell as much as Vince or Billy. If Ron tried to sell me a Shamwow, I’d definitely get it and I would probably try the grape juice experiment. Just maybe not on my carpet.