(Olive Press/Phoenicia Times September 24, 2009)
I want a cell phone. My mom won’t let me have one. I told her there are a million reasons I should have one. Reason one: what if I was stuck in a mud pit and needed to phone someone to get out? I would need a cell a phone. Reason two: what if somebody was robbing my purse and I needed to call 911? I would have to have a cell phone. Reason three (and perhaps the most important reason): what if I witnessed a murder scene and needed to take a picture to bring that murder to justice? I would need a cell phone with a camera. Reason four: what if I found buried treasure and I didn’t have a cell phone to call my mom and tell her about the moola I found? If I had a cell phone, I would call and tell mom to come to the direct spot where the moola is because it would be too heavy to carry and I would need her help with the treasure. Not only would I would need a cell phone for all this, but also if I had a cell phone for this situation, I would be able to buy cell phones for all the homeless people in New York because we’d have the treasure. Why do I think my mom won’t buy me a cell phone? There are stalkers out there, and they could track down my cell number through radio waves and keep me hostage or take my cell phone or they could call Peru and drive my cell phone bill way up. They could also track me through a deadly thing called Facebook. Do I agree with mom? No. Because I’ll be extra safe with my cell phone, just like I’ll be extra safe on Facebook. Plus, I definitely won’t call Peru.